Isn't it marvellous (yes. I said marvellous. In a serious context) when things that used to hurt start to not hurt? HOORAY. Things that used to sting and kind of gum your self or soul or whatever you want to call it (they don't quite bite because that would be going over the top, really now) start to stop doing that and just be. So you can lean back a little and look at them again and see hey now they're really not that bad.
TIME YOU ARE EXCELLENT.
I think it's time, anyway.
Although, if you associate that particular thing with a good time, which in my case is the case (oh my goodness I am incoherent. Apologies!), then you start to get a little bit of nostalgia for the pain. Is that masochistic? I'm not sure really XD
ANYWAY
after that rather nebulous start, let me apologise for not posting here in about a trillion years!!
A bit of hyperbole never hurt anyone :D
So. What's happened.
CAMP
was awesome. I learnt so many things. It made my everyday life seem kind of really busy and simultaneously really empty in comparison. While I was on camp, everything was about God, or somehow directly or nearly directly related to Him. It was amazing, seeing how different a huge group of Christians is compared to a huge group of non-Christians. Instead of snide gossip in the girls' toilets, there were snippets of singing, to which people would spontaneously join in, or happy chatter about how someone's day was or to do with the talks or how awesome Jesus is or something. That was one thing that really struck me. You can tell the difference :D
In relation to the talks, though, there were some really interesting, fundamental things that I learnt. They were mostly things I knew to be true already but hadn't realised. Eg! We are made in God's image. Yes. Simple. But it connects with everything that we are - and to keep to the topic of camp, the main one was that, because God is relational, so are we. We have this inbuilt desire to relate to people, to know them and to be known, properly, for who we are, and to communicate and connect with them. I don't know anyone who is a hermit. Even those who seem to not want to make friends or whatever, once you get to know them (thereby nullifying their not-wanting-to-make-friends thing), there lies that need. And therefore, whatever we do in our relationships with others, be they family or friends or definitely not friends or teachers or students or whoever, we are fulfilling this role that mirrors God's self. So we have to do it right, or we are changing what He intended. Because God loves everyone, so we must try our best to love everyone. It's not going to be possible all the time - we fail in everything else, so we'll definitely fail in this too. But it's really important to try as hard as we can to see the best in everyone, and also not to tear someone down for others - which we so easily and commonly do in gossip. I know for one that I am terrible at this for certain people: I won't have any preconceptions of people when I first meet them but if they give me a bad first impression, or if I hear a lot of negative gossip about them, it's really hard to change my mind if in fact they are a good person. And I further the gossip by needlessly bringing them up when there's a topic in conversation that relates to them.
I AM A BAD HAT, PEPITO.
However, on the flip side, when we do relationships right, then the results are amazing. By loving others, we are honouring God's creation, and therefore God.
Ummm I kinda lost track of my train of thought there. I FELL OFF THE TRAIN.
ai-yoh.
Well whatever, I'll start doing some of the talks in blog form next time :) More coherently, I promise!
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Italian hot chocolates
are awesome. I thought I should let you know that. It is my dream to make one someday. I make sure my dreams are achievable sometimes :D
[EDIT: wow ok apparently blogger deleted half of my post.. bleh!]
So I have been on tour for the last few days!!! An interesting time. It was only from Sunday till Tuesday, starting with a lovely 3:30 wakeup call to get on a 6:00 flight which was delayed by an hour. Oh Jetstar, how I love thee. XDD As it was, we got to Newcastle mid morning and went to a farmers market which was really lots of fun and lots of food :D:D:D I got some tea!!! Yay!! The concert that afternoon was as a part of a choral concert so we got some audience, which was really good, and I think it went really well too. After the concert all three choirs went to the pub for dinner and two of the guys from Sola managed to spend $80 on drinks and wake up bright and cheery the next morning. Well bright and cheery is overdoing it but, without extreme pain at Katie and my loud wakeup calls.
Next day we drove to Sydney, stopping at some rather odd places (a closed wildlife park and a very small port/rubbish tip of sorts), thanks GPS. Sydney is amazing, there's so much to see and do and EAT. Hom nom nom. Our hotel was INCREDIBLE so so so posh!!! We were sharing 6 to a room so we could afford it XD;;; And we were right next to a ramen shop so that was awesome too :D Our concert was in a beautiful Anglican cathedral in the CBD, but was extremely cold and because we don't know a lot of people down there, there was only a small audience XD That was ok though, it was an intimate concert... XDDD The performance didn't go quite as we had expected but the audience seemed to enjoy it, which is the main thing :) After, instead of going drinking, we all went back to the hotel and played games until 2 am which was EXTREMELY WIN. Although I am not so good at them it was so fun anyway!!
The next morning we got up and went to a Chinese bakery that Katie knew about (btw this is not me speaking in the third person, there is another Katie in the choir :P) and got delicious cheap breakfast and then split ways. I went off to the northern suburbs to look for a viola bow, and ended up walking like 5 k because a store had moved without me knowing! That was fun... Ahhh Sydney transport is so expensive *A*;; $17 for a daily ticket... ouch. Still. The trains are so so convenient and the buses aren't half bad.
***READ FROM HERE FOR LESS RAMBLE :D:D
For some reason I didn't feel like the tour was quite long enough... Usually tours are really good times to get to know each other better, and I got a lot closer to Ruby and Katie and Lana, but it would have been good to have a few more days. Also what was interesting is how tiredness and stress and whatnot affect people - some of them retreat inside themselves and become quiet, some pretend it's not happening and try to go about as they usually would, and some lash out. I think I might have been on the receiving end of one of the attacks, and I think it's kind of sad how people don't realise that they're doing it or how it makes the other person feel. Although you realise that it's probably not that you're a bad person, it still really hurts. I guess maybe I have an inferiority complex or something, but I was made to feel really really small and stupid, and it was probably half me anyway because I was also tired, but I realised that I've been doing this to other people as well and I'm really really sorry - to anyone who I've made feel like this, I definitely do not mean to do it and I'm trying super hard from now to think about things before I say them, especially when I'm tired or hungry (I get really grumpy when I'm hungry!!).
Lately I've been reading 1 and 2 Corinthians, and a few things really resonated with these kinds of situations:
1 Corinthians 16:13 "Do everything in love" and 2 Corinthians 5:16 - 17 "So from now on, regard no one from a worldy point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!"
The first one is self-explanatory. If you're going to do something that's going to impact on someone (which is pretty much anything), think about it first. Think about whether it's going to help them at all, or comfort them, or give them what they need, whether it be strength, encouragement, guidance, support, or a reality check, or anything else. And then think about how you're going to do it, so that if it's something that might hurt them at first, you present it in the gentlest way possible, without losing the message.
The second one is something I hadn't thought about before I read this. Yes, people have faults. Everyone has faults. But if God, if Christ can forgive them, then how much more should we. We shouldn't even expect people to not sin against us, because we are on the same level as everyone. I know I have trouble with this because I assume the best in everyone at first, and when I'm badly hurt or disappointed I can't get that out of my head. Pretty much, rather than communicating and behaving around people according to their sins, behave as you would around someone who's been reconciled with Christ, who's been forgiven by the dude who made the universe and everything and is super enormous and awesome and can I please have your signature?
Anyone who's reading this, I challenge you to go out and do everything in love, and not act towards people's weaknesses but their strengths. Ou!!!
[EDIT: wow ok apparently blogger deleted half of my post.. bleh!]
So I have been on tour for the last few days!!! An interesting time. It was only from Sunday till Tuesday, starting with a lovely 3:30 wakeup call to get on a 6:00 flight which was delayed by an hour. Oh Jetstar, how I love thee. XDD As it was, we got to Newcastle mid morning and went to a farmers market which was really lots of fun and lots of food :D:D:D I got some tea!!! Yay!! The concert that afternoon was as a part of a choral concert so we got some audience, which was really good, and I think it went really well too. After the concert all three choirs went to the pub for dinner and two of the guys from Sola managed to spend $80 on drinks and wake up bright and cheery the next morning. Well bright and cheery is overdoing it but, without extreme pain at Katie and my loud wakeup calls.
Next day we drove to Sydney, stopping at some rather odd places (a closed wildlife park and a very small port/rubbish tip of sorts), thanks GPS. Sydney is amazing, there's so much to see and do and EAT. Hom nom nom. Our hotel was INCREDIBLE so so so posh!!! We were sharing 6 to a room so we could afford it XD;;; And we were right next to a ramen shop so that was awesome too :D Our concert was in a beautiful Anglican cathedral in the CBD, but was extremely cold and because we don't know a lot of people down there, there was only a small audience XD That was ok though, it was an intimate concert... XDDD The performance didn't go quite as we had expected but the audience seemed to enjoy it, which is the main thing :) After, instead of going drinking, we all went back to the hotel and played games until 2 am which was EXTREMELY WIN. Although I am not so good at them it was so fun anyway!!
The next morning we got up and went to a Chinese bakery that Katie knew about (btw this is not me speaking in the third person, there is another Katie in the choir :P) and got delicious cheap breakfast and then split ways. I went off to the northern suburbs to look for a viola bow, and ended up walking like 5 k because a store had moved without me knowing! That was fun... Ahhh Sydney transport is so expensive *A*;; $17 for a daily ticket... ouch. Still. The trains are so so convenient and the buses aren't half bad.
***READ FROM HERE FOR LESS RAMBLE :D:D
For some reason I didn't feel like the tour was quite long enough... Usually tours are really good times to get to know each other better, and I got a lot closer to Ruby and Katie and Lana, but it would have been good to have a few more days. Also what was interesting is how tiredness and stress and whatnot affect people - some of them retreat inside themselves and become quiet, some pretend it's not happening and try to go about as they usually would, and some lash out. I think I might have been on the receiving end of one of the attacks, and I think it's kind of sad how people don't realise that they're doing it or how it makes the other person feel. Although you realise that it's probably not that you're a bad person, it still really hurts. I guess maybe I have an inferiority complex or something, but I was made to feel really really small and stupid, and it was probably half me anyway because I was also tired, but I realised that I've been doing this to other people as well and I'm really really sorry - to anyone who I've made feel like this, I definitely do not mean to do it and I'm trying super hard from now to think about things before I say them, especially when I'm tired or hungry (I get really grumpy when I'm hungry!!).
Lately I've been reading 1 and 2 Corinthians, and a few things really resonated with these kinds of situations:
1 Corinthians 16:13 "Do everything in love" and 2 Corinthians 5:16 - 17 "So from now on, regard no one from a worldy point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!"
The first one is self-explanatory. If you're going to do something that's going to impact on someone (which is pretty much anything), think about it first. Think about whether it's going to help them at all, or comfort them, or give them what they need, whether it be strength, encouragement, guidance, support, or a reality check, or anything else. And then think about how you're going to do it, so that if it's something that might hurt them at first, you present it in the gentlest way possible, without losing the message.
The second one is something I hadn't thought about before I read this. Yes, people have faults. Everyone has faults. But if God, if Christ can forgive them, then how much more should we. We shouldn't even expect people to not sin against us, because we are on the same level as everyone. I know I have trouble with this because I assume the best in everyone at first, and when I'm badly hurt or disappointed I can't get that out of my head. Pretty much, rather than communicating and behaving around people according to their sins, behave as you would around someone who's been reconciled with Christ, who's been forgiven by the dude who made the universe and everything and is super enormous and awesome and can I please have your signature?
Anyone who's reading this, I challenge you to go out and do everything in love, and not act towards people's weaknesses but their strengths. Ou!!!
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Children/Adults
Ok just had to administer some intense damage control then. Dad's overseas so Mum has to do all this stuff on her own, including looking after her own parents and also Popo (Dad's mum) and Guche (Dad's sister) and her son Timmy pretty much as well as us, so she has a big job. She doesn't get mad too much but when she does, she goes there all the way. No half-arsed blowouts. The thing that gets me most when she does blow her top is that she becomes really, really unreasonable. She says things over and over and when you can't come up with a new, innovative way to answer it, she gets mad at you for that. Then moves the topic onto some other random thing, and you just can't stop the flow. And it made me think that, even the adults I respect and look up to most can act like children sometimes. Today she slammed the door in my face when I suggested that talking behind people's backs when you know they can hear you might not feel so good for them. Even I, the most juvenile of people most of the time, haven't done that. I think that the best thing to do, at least for Mum, is to DEFINITELY NOT TRY TO GO AWAY AND LET THEM COOL DOWN although that's what I would like in her situation. For Mum, the best thing to do is to show her love. To tell her, in a low, soothing voice (lol) that we're sorry and we make mistakes and that we're just not good at this being good children thing, which is true. Lying will just make it worse. Then once she's calmed down go give her a hug.
I guess I don't really understand because I never really yell at people, except Ben and Hsieh (sorry guys!!! I know I'm bad at this and you totally don't deserve it nearly every time >.<) and I'm trying to not do that because it's just silly! I tend to shut up, walk away, then either fume to myself, this blog, or the dogs, work it out and try to see it from their perspective, then go and say hey can you do this a different way, or say nothing at all. The latter probably is a really stupid thing to do because it doesn't change anything. When it's something that really matters, I usually don't get angry, I get sad instead, or I get super super mad/frustrated/despairing at myself. Sadness is good in a way because it doesn't hurt the other person, which is why I'd prefer to be sad rather than angry, but it's also a passive emotion - it doesn't get anything done, and if you let it go too far you start to do this whole stupid self pity thing which is SO LAME. It's cyclic and has pointy teeth that it likes to nip you with at random times and you're like oh sorry peeps, gotta go mope for a bit, brb. /you get into a rhythm of feeling like crap at a certain time when you know you're not going to be around people. It's really lame. Don't do it. JUST SAY NO.
Well whatever. I went to see Patricia's concert AND IT WAS AMAZING I WANT TO BE LIKE HER WHEN I GROW UP. maaaaaan. She's so awesome. And when I went to congratulate her afterwards she got in first and the first thing she said to me was, Katie your recording was great!! Seriously. Who does that. She just pulled off an incredible concert and you don't even say, 'did you like it?'. SELFLESS TO THE EXTREME CUBED. She was giving a talk to the MOST (musically outstanding students t-something) kids on Monday night and she asked me to play a bit of Bach to them which I did and it was reaaaally weird. It was in the dining room so it was kinda like playing to kids at camp when they're tired/hungry. They were a really good audience but I still got super nervous!! haha. AND THEN IT WAS FONDUE NIGHT AND WE ATE LOTS OF CHOCOLATES AND WATCHED ENCHANTED AND IT WAS AWESOME.
<3 you girls!!!!
So-La tour on Sunday, yay can't wait!!! :D:D:D
I guess I don't really understand because I never really yell at people, except Ben and Hsieh (sorry guys!!! I know I'm bad at this and you totally don't deserve it nearly every time >.<) and I'm trying to not do that because it's just silly! I tend to shut up, walk away, then either fume to myself, this blog, or the dogs, work it out and try to see it from their perspective, then go and say hey can you do this a different way, or say nothing at all. The latter probably is a really stupid thing to do because it doesn't change anything. When it's something that really matters, I usually don't get angry, I get sad instead, or I get super super mad/frustrated/despairing at myself. Sadness is good in a way because it doesn't hurt the other person, which is why I'd prefer to be sad rather than angry, but it's also a passive emotion - it doesn't get anything done, and if you let it go too far you start to do this whole stupid self pity thing which is SO LAME. It's cyclic and has pointy teeth that it likes to nip you with at random times and you're like oh sorry peeps, gotta go mope for a bit, brb. /you get into a rhythm of feeling like crap at a certain time when you know you're not going to be around people. It's really lame. Don't do it. JUST SAY NO.
Well whatever. I went to see Patricia's concert AND IT WAS AMAZING I WANT TO BE LIKE HER WHEN I GROW UP. maaaaaan. She's so awesome. And when I went to congratulate her afterwards she got in first and the first thing she said to me was, Katie your recording was great!! Seriously. Who does that. She just pulled off an incredible concert and you don't even say, 'did you like it?'. SELFLESS TO THE EXTREME CUBED. She was giving a talk to the MOST (musically outstanding students t-something) kids on Monday night and she asked me to play a bit of Bach to them which I did and it was reaaaally weird. It was in the dining room so it was kinda like playing to kids at camp when they're tired/hungry. They were a really good audience but I still got super nervous!! haha. AND THEN IT WAS FONDUE NIGHT AND WE ATE LOTS OF CHOCOLATES AND WATCHED ENCHANTED AND IT WAS AWESOME.
<3 you girls!!!!
So-La tour on Sunday, yay can't wait!!! :D:D:D
Saturday, June 27, 2009
A new Chopin Liszt, Ysaye.
Ok so that was surpassingly lame.
Anyway this is going to be a fairly boring post intended to remind me what I have to do NOW THAT I AM ON BLISSFUL HOLIDAYS.
(There is a figurative and metaphorical cookie at the bottom for those of you who read through it, or just scroll down. Whatever floats your boat :P)
1. Clean my room. Properly. Namely, emptying everything out of everywhere, tossing everything I don't need/really want, putting all the rest of the stuff in boxes, figuring out which bits of furniture are broken beyond all hope of repair by use of gaffa tape, and putting it back.
2. Practise for, and record Bach for the Harmer. Write application and get references.
3. Arrange a gazillion lots of gig music.
4. Alter/fix clothes that need it.
5. SLEEP.
That's pretty much it!!! Yay!!!!!
Ok so cookie. For those of you (see: anonymous) who aren't Christian this is going to be a let down :P
OK SO KATIE ANALOGY TIME. I'm kind of embarrassed to be seeing all these analogies everywhere but whatever. They're kinda cute.
Today I spent most of my time doing one of playing viola, driving somewhere, running somewhere with food that I don't have time to sit and eat in my mouth/falling out of my mouth, getting lost, or pulling over to the side of the road to consult my refidex with a healthy soundtrack of profanity. I think I've sworn more today than I have in the last 6 months .____.;;; Either way. I was thinking, in one of the rare times in which I knew where I was going, that God is kind of like a map. As opposed to a GPS. Because He doesn't tell you everything exactly as it's coming up, in a super annoying electronic voice, accompanied by conveniently colour coded graphics and little arrows. And reminders every 500 m that, in 1580 m, turn left at Greenwood Rd. He lets you get lost, He lets you get frustrated and pull over and say where the hell am I??? And He is a WHOLE FRICKIN LOT BETTER THAN STUPID GOOGLE MAPS. If you just look, you'll find where to go. It's ok to keep pulling over to see if you're on course. And He won't give you stupid directions that send you wiggling around in weird wormy paths when in fact you could just be going along one road for the whole way instead.
Yeah.
Extended metaphor, fin.
Going to early session of church tomorrow, wonder what it'll be like! Also Patricia's having a concert WHICH WILL BE AWESOME and I'm going to give her banana bread that I made :D:D:D
Tralalala holidays!
Anyway this is going to be a fairly boring post intended to remind me what I have to do NOW THAT I AM ON BLISSFUL HOLIDAYS.
(There is a figurative and metaphorical cookie at the bottom for those of you who read through it, or just scroll down. Whatever floats your boat :P)
1. Clean my room. Properly. Namely, emptying everything out of everywhere, tossing everything I don't need/really want, putting all the rest of the stuff in boxes, figuring out which bits of furniture are broken beyond all hope of repair by use of gaffa tape, and putting it back.
2. Practise for, and record Bach for the Harmer. Write application and get references.
3. Arrange a gazillion lots of gig music.
4. Alter/fix clothes that need it.
5. SLEEP.
That's pretty much it!!! Yay!!!!!
Ok so cookie. For those of you (see: anonymous) who aren't Christian this is going to be a let down :P
OK SO KATIE ANALOGY TIME. I'm kind of embarrassed to be seeing all these analogies everywhere but whatever. They're kinda cute.
Today I spent most of my time doing one of playing viola, driving somewhere, running somewhere with food that I don't have time to sit and eat in my mouth/falling out of my mouth, getting lost, or pulling over to the side of the road to consult my refidex with a healthy soundtrack of profanity. I think I've sworn more today than I have in the last 6 months .____.;;; Either way. I was thinking, in one of the rare times in which I knew where I was going, that God is kind of like a map. As opposed to a GPS. Because He doesn't tell you everything exactly as it's coming up, in a super annoying electronic voice, accompanied by conveniently colour coded graphics and little arrows. And reminders every 500 m that, in 1580 m, turn left at Greenwood Rd. He lets you get lost, He lets you get frustrated and pull over and say where the hell am I??? And He is a WHOLE FRICKIN LOT BETTER THAN STUPID GOOGLE MAPS. If you just look, you'll find where to go. It's ok to keep pulling over to see if you're on course. And He won't give you stupid directions that send you wiggling around in weird wormy paths when in fact you could just be going along one road for the whole way instead.
Yeah.
Extended metaphor, fin.
Going to early session of church tomorrow, wonder what it'll be like! Also Patricia's having a concert WHICH WILL BE AWESOME and I'm going to give her banana bread that I made :D:D:D
Tralalala holidays!
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Someone tell me the opening hours please D:
Much do I dread the day that it closes.
Today has rekindled my love and hate of the city. Well. not love really. But I do quite like it, mainly because it has the best sushi, ever (hooray for Top Sushi!!), but I despise it because of everyone smoking there. I swear I increase my breath control by 133.2% every time I go there, I hold my breath so often. Blargh.
In other matters, $5 jeans! Woo!
Keep head up, keep head up.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Time.
Bleh, the button for 'new post' on my dashboard has broken! Gotta gaffa tape it back up...
Anyway. It is raining and I have a cup of tea and a heater and I should be studying but whatever, I just finished a recording so I want a few hours off :P
The last week or so has been weirdly really difficult for me - not most of the time, when I'm busy doing something, or around other people, but when I've got time to myself, I find myself getting really sad. I really really want holidays RIGHT NAO PLZ but also I'm sort of afraid that, with more time, I'll just stagnate on whatever's happening in my head and it'll grow. Not on me. Like a tumor. Tumor should have another u after the o. It looks kind of Americanised now. Meh. I guess I'm being a pretty lame Christian, because all this worry is useless, and it's about something I really have no control over. It means that I obviously don't trust God enough to say, 'ok, You're SUPER EXTREMELY AWESOME and are going to do what's best for everyone, and because I'm here fretting about something I can't go out and change, I'll let you do that and not try to be You because that would fail in spectacular flames and whatnot'.
I know in my head that He'll take care of me, no matter who I am. I know it in my heart too. But this subject just keeps popping up and tapping me on the shoulder and saying HEY KATIE REMEMBER ME I'M GOING TO SCREW UP YOUR LIFE YAYAH. Whiiiich is miserable for me and anyone who happens to be around me at the time. I'm sorry if I've been a lame friend lately :( It's not something which I'll see any results of, really, for a long long time, and I won't know if what I hope for is going to be realised or not. I guess I need to let it go, but I also don't want to. I think I'm afraid that if I stop worrying about it I'll stop caring about it? I'm not really even sure.
Myeh, got exram to study for. Got recording to practise for. Got HINDEMITH TO LEARN YAY!! Got banana bread to bake for Patricia and Reka and hope that that might stop them fading away into jobs they have to do for wooni.
P.S. I don't really know what's up with the title of this post?
Anyway. It is raining and I have a cup of tea and a heater and I should be studying but whatever, I just finished a recording so I want a few hours off :P
The last week or so has been weirdly really difficult for me - not most of the time, when I'm busy doing something, or around other people, but when I've got time to myself, I find myself getting really sad. I really really want holidays RIGHT NAO PLZ but also I'm sort of afraid that, with more time, I'll just stagnate on whatever's happening in my head and it'll grow. Not on me. Like a tumor. Tumor should have another u after the o. It looks kind of Americanised now. Meh. I guess I'm being a pretty lame Christian, because all this worry is useless, and it's about something I really have no control over. It means that I obviously don't trust God enough to say, 'ok, You're SUPER EXTREMELY AWESOME and are going to do what's best for everyone, and because I'm here fretting about something I can't go out and change, I'll let you do that and not try to be You because that would fail in spectacular flames and whatnot'.
I know in my head that He'll take care of me, no matter who I am. I know it in my heart too. But this subject just keeps popping up and tapping me on the shoulder and saying HEY KATIE REMEMBER ME I'M GOING TO SCREW UP YOUR LIFE YAYAH. Whiiiich is miserable for me and anyone who happens to be around me at the time. I'm sorry if I've been a lame friend lately :( It's not something which I'll see any results of, really, for a long long time, and I won't know if what I hope for is going to be realised or not. I guess I need to let it go, but I also don't want to. I think I'm afraid that if I stop worrying about it I'll stop caring about it? I'm not really even sure.
Myeh, got exram to study for. Got recording to practise for. Got HINDEMITH TO LEARN YAY!! Got banana bread to bake for Patricia and Reka and hope that that might stop them fading away into jobs they have to do for wooni.
P.S. I don't really know what's up with the title of this post?
Sunday, June 14, 2009
This much.
Today at church, a speaker with a particularly inspiring story came to tell us about her experiences. And it made me realise something that I had always heard and kind of known but not really thought about or understood, even in any small part - 'Jesus loves you'. It's the thing that you see on Sunday School posters or hokey signs, that you become desensitised to. Or that's what I became anyway. Cliches are almost always based in truth - and this is one of them. Jesus does love you. Think of the person you most love, and then put it to the power of about a gazillion. That's probably not enough. I can't really grasp how enormous His love is, but even in my lack of understanding, just realising that He does love me, is enough - it's amazing. I mean far out. He's the frickin creator of the universe, and He cares about us??? Not just an arbitrary glance every now and then when He can get around to it, or even a kind of 'this is my fairly alright creation which has managed to screw itself up but whatever I still think it's interesting' attitude. And something else the speaker said - nothing you do can make Him love you any less. Similarly, nothing you do can increase His love for you. (how do you increase infinity anyway?) So even if you don't follow what He has in plan for you, it's not going to make Him hate you, only, you will have missed out on something pretty damn awesome, so you don't need to feel like a criminal (although we are). If you think you've done exactly what He's told you to, followed every rule almost always, etc etc, there's also no reason to become smug in your ways. There's no excuse, really, because it's not what we've done that we can be proud of, because we'll always fail in some way. BUT THAT'S OK BECAUSE IT WON'T MAKE HIM HATE US. Or even love us less!
HOW AWESOME IS THAT. I THINK IT IS AWESOME. I WOULD LIKE TO RECOMMEND TO YOU THE AWESOMENESS OF GOD BECAUSE HE'S EXTREMELY RAD AND EVEN TYPING IN ALL CAPS LOOKS ABOUT THE SIZE OF A PIECE OF LINT FROM THE DRYER, ONE OF THE REALLY SMALL ONES THAT ARE SUPER HARD TO GET OFF YOUR CLOTHES, TO GOD.
Apologies for yelling in your head :D
HOW AWESOME IS THAT. I THINK IT IS AWESOME. I WOULD LIKE TO RECOMMEND TO YOU THE AWESOMENESS OF GOD BECAUSE HE'S EXTREMELY RAD AND EVEN TYPING IN ALL CAPS LOOKS ABOUT THE SIZE OF A PIECE OF LINT FROM THE DRYER, ONE OF THE REALLY SMALL ONES THAT ARE SUPER HARD TO GET OFF YOUR CLOTHES, TO GOD.
Apologies for yelling in your head :D
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