Obsessions...

... are not necessarily entirely creepy. I have an obsession with the idea of selfishness. This is a quite inadequate description, so I'll explain - I habitually examine my actions and analyse them to try to find whether they are selfish or not. This stems from a fight/being-yelled-at session with my mum a few years ago. I can't even remember what it was about now, but it was something about me being selfish (and I do realise that blogging is a pretty self centered action anyway, but this is annoying me no end), and as usual she was right. After she had finished being mad at me, however, I went overboard in the whole self criticism thing and got sort of crazy. In the horribly stereotypical, I-want-to-die-I'm-such-a-disgusting-person way. -152 points for Katie!! Anyway, some interesting turns in life have happened recently and have dragged this subject back on top of my brain, so now I'm having a deeply confusing discussion with myself - how do you define if something's selfish? Is it when you do something solely for yourself? Is it when you always talk about yourself? What if something is making you afraid to talk about someone else - for example, could it be considered gossiping? Might you offend someone by talking about them, or their actions, even if it's in front of them? Maybe you're just afraid of being ignorant. And does blaming yourself for something bad that's happening make you self centered? What if you can't do anything about it by changing yourself, but instead it's someone else, and you're too blinded by your own selfish obsession with selfishness to see it and try to help?
I'm pretty confused.

I don't know how to answer any of these questions but I'm going to try looking outside of my own faults, and see if it's something outside that maybe I can help: actively, or by stepping back.


Frickin' obsessions.